how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I didn't notice because vodka
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
