So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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