girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
