Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
