There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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