so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
