almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
