I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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