Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
