Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Randomize
