he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
