She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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