I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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