And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
