I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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