a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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