i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
