I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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