i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Life is so much better after having sex.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
