One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
