I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
