Are we in a gay sports bar?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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