Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
