UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
