3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
