stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
