'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
