Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
