Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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