What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
