Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
