p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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