pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
