I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Please don't give away my fajitas
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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