Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Randomize
