FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I wish there were birth control emojis
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
