he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
