You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
