I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
