Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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