i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
