Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
