Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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