I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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