i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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