i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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