I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
