I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
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