I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
