Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
