You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
