Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
