I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
